


Diamond Eyes

by Happy_Endings



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Awkward Sex Scenes, Character Death, Crossover References, Eventual Poorly Written Smut, F/F, F/M, Feels, Flashbacks, Fluff, I Will Make This Canon I Swear, M/M, My OTP, Plot Twists, Sad OTP Moments, So Many Plot Twists, Songfic Sort Of?, lots of headcanons, ooc moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-18 04:25:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1415032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy_Endings/pseuds/Happy_Endings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We are far from defeating the titans, Eren. We've lost too many people, if we lose you too, humanity will undoubtedly be wiped out."<br/>No pressure.<br/>"I don't care what you see, hear, or believe. You will not transform on this final expedition. Am I understood?"<br/>"Yes sir."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is based on the songs that I skipped to while my phone had music on shuffle. I did not include lyrics to the songs sporadically in the story, because I'm afraid of copyright and whatnot. I will make note of what song and artist the chapter is based on just in use you were curious, I claim no ownership to the song or characters mentioned. All Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin characters belong to their rightful owners blah blah blah. Warning: bad language and mild OOC moments. I'm not the best writer yet, so bear with me here.  
> \- Fay -

 

"Corporal, you wanted to see me?" Eren stepped inside carefully, taking the venomous stare from his foreman with a minuscule amount of apathy. He racked his brain for a reason behind whatever punishment he was sure he'd face. He cleaned his room, and Armin had helped him with dishes this morning, maybe he forgot something else. The courtyard was clean as always, now that Levi had him cleaning up the scattered leaves every five minutes. The boy was obviously confused, if not completely at a loss for words. He fidgeted, his arms straight at his sides and messing with the leather of his straps.

"At ease, Jaeger. You're not in trouble." Levi had grown bored of watching the boy's panic increase with every second that ticked by, and he wasn't a fan of wasting time. He set his mug down and motioned to the seat opposite of his own behind the desk. "Sit down, I'm not gonna bite you."

eren moved quickly, sitting straight backed in the edge of the chair. It took everything he had not to bend the kid into a more relaxed position. "Are you constipated or something?" He raised a brow and moved a few papers around, looking for Hanji's notes.

"N-no sir," Eren said slowly, as if he wasn't sure how to respond.

"Then why are you sitting like you've got something stuck up your ass? Chill out."

Eren blinked and slouched a little, sitting with his back to the chair, though it was almost too small for him, given Levi's size in retrospect to the furniture he was given. 

"Yes sir, sorry sir."

Levi grumbled under his breath and held up the notes for Eren to see. "Do you know what this is?"

Eren shook his head. Of course not. "Our stats. Well,  _your_ stats, I guess. From day one you haven't been that special. No defining talents set you apart from the other members of your division."

He could tell Eren was visibly injured from his words, and Levi's eyes widened slightly, he had to get his point across fast before Eren lost hope for himself. "However, your courage outshines the others. You're stubborn and actually kind of stupid. Fifteen solo kills, nineteen assists-" Levi sighed and nodded once sharply. "Not bad."

In his own way, Levi was complementing him, though it hurt a bit at first, Eren was still greatfull for the praise. "Thank you."

"We've lost one thousand, two hundred- eleven soldiers this past year."

Well, that was unexpected. 

"Of those, only forty bodies could be recovered." Levi lifted his eyes to look at Eren, studying his reactions. "Twenty three made it back to the walls." 

Had they really lost this many people in just a year? Eren didn't even  _know_ that many people. 

"I'm not blaming you for any of this." Levi clarified. "Just keep in mind that this is reality we're dealing with. The world is a bitch, Eren." 

_The world eats kids like you and me for breakfast._

"Let that be inspiration for you next time. Don't be one of the twenty three."

Eren nodded once and fidgeted again. It wasn't a surprise that Eren was terrified of death, though he hid it well, and his bravery blinded him most of the time, he was still human, more or less, and he still had fear. Titan or not, he wasn't immortal. 

"Yes sir."

"Eren."

"Sir?"

"Call me Levi. Saying sir all the time is getting annoying, and it makes me feel old."

Eren didn't react, but looked at his hands in his lap, one leg bouncing lightly on the ball of his foot as he played with the straps again. "Aren't you?"

What in the fucking world. "I'm not that old." Levi frowned. "I'm just...mature."

Eren almost laughed, and Levi wasn't sure if he should have smiled at the boy or kicked his face in. This kid had some nerve, though, and he respected that. 

"At any rate, I'd rather be an old man than a kid." Eren pouted, "not that you're an old man! I'm not saying that, it came out wrong, I swear!"

Levi raised a brow at him and opened his mouth to speak, but a loud knock erupted him. "Come in." He sighed.

Hanji poked her head out from the doorframe and gave him a. Small smile. "Sasha wants to know what you'd like for dinner, short stuff."

"Don't call me that. And I don't care." 

Eren snickered.

"Anything you want, Eren?"

He turned in his seat to look at Hanji and shook his head. "Anything is fine with me, thank you."

Levi noticed almost immediately that the back of his neck ws red. Not the bright red you turn after standing in the heat for too long with that damn cape on your shoulders, this red was a few shades darker, it almost looked like muscle.

He looked at Hanji who squinted slightly at him, her eyes flickered to the desk, and then she disappeared with a loud "Okay".

She must have written notes about it. This was not normal. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the nice comments on the first chapter, I'm really proud of making a chapter that was liked so much! I'll do my best not to disappoint.
> 
> Song used: I Won't Let You Down by Alex Claire
> 
> \- Fay -

Levi was on his way to Hanji's office when he heard it. The loud and surprised: "EREN JAEGER!"

The shout was followed by several high pitched screams and laughter. 

He debated on going to check on the situation, and decided to, against his better judgement. "What the fuck is going on over here?" Levi stood in the doorway of the shower room with arms crossed. His eyes doubled in size and his face went bright red when he glared in Eren's direction.

"DON'T LOOK!" Eren yelped, covering himself. Levi turned his head quickly and tried to keep a straight face. "Put some _damn_ clothes on, Jaeger." He demanded, his voice cracking. He glared at the floor, crossing his arms. 

"Are you decent now?"

"Yes sir." Levi looked back at the boy, standing straight with his arms folded over his lap, boots in hand, his straps were thrown on messily and his shirt half buttoned. "Sorry sir."

Levi looked around at the others, Armin looked terrified, with wide eyes and a pale face. Jean was struggling to keep from laughing, Mikasa looked as apathetic as usual. 

"What happened here?"

"Sasha farted again, sir." Mikasa spoke up, and Sasha just about died behind the group, shaking her head at him. "I-I didn't she's lying!" He narrowed his gaze at Mikasa. "What _actually_ happened?" He asked again. "I'm in no mood for games."

"Jean..." Armin mumbled under his breath. 

"Jean what?" 

"He...took his towel." Armin shied away from Jean's sideways glare. 

"You are aware that is sexual harassment, aren't you?" He raised a brow at him. Was Jean one of those guys? He was fond of Mikasa last time Levi had asked. 

"Yes sir." Jean answered flatly. He wasn't very comfortable around this guy, he seemed so harsh, even compared to himself. He had a feeling this kid would rebel against him at one point, and it made him uneasy.

"Get dressed. Eren, come to my office when you're done. Hurry up."

"Yes sir."

Levi shook his head, mumbling about how ridiculous children were as he moved on towards Hanji's office. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still based off of "I Won't Let You Down" by Alex Claire.  
> Thank you for the comments and kudos as usual. :)  
> Sorry these chapters are so short, I kinda have to write these all at once, since I can't just save it without posting it, you know what I mean?  
> \- Fay -

"I wont let you down!" Became something Eren told him on a daily basis. He thought nothing of it for the longest time, but now that he was more aware of Eren's condition, it meant so much more. Every word could be his last, and it created this hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach that he couldn't get rid of. He said it with so much vigor, so much promise and hope, that every sentence felt like a victory speech. _I won't let you down_ became a promise of hope and responsibility. He felt like he could trust Eren more than the others because he strived to please him. His respect for him surpassed that of a normal cadet. 

"Levi Heichou..."

Levi didn't look up at him from his reports, but put more irrelevant papers over them so Eren couldn't read his death warrant. "What is it?"

"I wanted to say sorry. For yesterday." He was fidgeting again, and Levi fought the urge to slap his hands away.

"I'm not bothered by it, so forget about it." he had seen another naked man before, it wasn't that weird. "I was a cadet once, too, you know." He clarified. Eren fidgeted again and nodded once. "Yes sir."

"What did I tell you abou-"

"Levi. Sorry, _Levi_." He said his name with a weird face, as if speaking some other language. "I can't call you just _Levi_ , it's rude. Can't I call you...Mister Levi or something?" 

He didn't respond. "Is that all you came here for, Eren?"

"No." He chewed on his lower lip and looked behind him. "I made you...a thing."

"A thing?" 

"Yes sir. Levi. Levi sir. I finished my cleaning early, so the others and I goofed off and Sasha showed me how to make this. B-but I don't have anyone to give it to, she said I had to give it to someone I like and I like you so-" he held out a messily made daisy crown, and Levi's heart just about stopped. 

He was so lost in the kid's rambling, he didn't realize the other members of his squad in the doorway behind him. 

"What?"

Eren froze. "Do you not like it?" his face got red and he made an angry expression at the crown. "I kinda suck at making these, but Sasha said she'd help me-"

"No, I mean- you _like_ me? What's that supposed to mean?" 

He calmed down and looked his superior straight in the eyes. "I respect you." He said simply. "And I look up to you. Well...down at you, I guess, but in a loving way." He smiled and laughed nervously, and Levi kicked him in the shins.

"Damn brat, you're asking for a good kick in the teeth." He stood and took the crown from him, careful not to make the whole thing fall apart. "Thanks, I guess." He picked up his papers and walked around Eren glaring daggers at his squad, who had already run away from the room. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is Bloodstream by Stateless ^^  
> \- Fay -
> 
> Edit: whoa there, Petra's alive last chapter and dead in this one, sorry about that.  
> Also, there are references to the manga "A Choice With No Regrets"/Birth of Levi. If you haven't read it, these next few chapters will contain SPOILERS. I suggest you read it first, just in case.

_I respect you._

Levi groaned and turned over in his bed again, glaring at the flower crown on his nightstand. He didn't know what time it was now, or how long he had been trying to sleep, but the moon was high and crickets chirped loudly outside his window. He heard a few birds outside and ceased his grumbling to listen to them. He had always liked the sound of birds, it was always one of those rare creatures he grew up seeing in the Underground. Unless they were brought down or somehow managed to get trapped there, birds really were a rare sight for him as a child. He refused to think about his childhood now, it was too damn late for life reflections, _save it for another day_ , he scolded himself and closed his eyes. 

_I look up to you._

_Are you fucking serious, Levi?_ he opened his eyes and sat up, annoyed that the brat had gotten into his head. He rubbed his eyes and pushed his hair off of his forehead, he sighed heavily and tried to pinpoint what was making him so angry. He was responsible for this kid, like a big brother or a father, but he often found himself going out of his way to make sure he was okay. The death of his squad, for example; he should have been mourning, and he remembered wanting to curl up into a ball and die somewhere, but his feet carried him to Eren. His lips moved to comfort the boy, distract him from the carnage. If he knew how, he would have embraced him. He had done all of this in an unconscious effort to help him, put the pieces of his mind back together before it was too late. And he blamed himself. That's what hurt the most, what snapped him out of his daze and slapped him into realization that he had in fact been under pressure of every human being since day one. 

He had more in common with Eren than he wanted to believe. 

He looked back at the crown and took it from the top of the drawers, half tempted to crush it. He cared too much. 

_Don't you understand what you're doing? Don't you know about his condition? He's going to die, and you're going to have to kill him. Don't fall in love now, Levi. Don't do this to yourself._

He had lost the will to sleep, and sat for a while feeling the petals of the daises, he noticed a few little flowers added sporadically to fill the gaps in Eren's poor weaving skills and smiled slightly at them, imagining Eren angrily trying to perfect the crown's shape. He and Isabel used to make these when boredom overtook them, and he debated making one for Eren in return.


	5. Hands to Hold Onto

Blood.

'God, I've never seen so much blood.' It clung to his clothes and made them heavy, sticking to his skin and staining it red. There was so way so much blood could have come from one person, but a titan. A titan could bleed this much, right? Why wasn't the blood evaporating? The blood rose, from his knees to his waist, then his stomach and chest. Levi tried to get away from it, but the more he moved the higher it rose. Why was there so much blood? Where was it coming from?

"You failed us." Levi froze and turned slowly towards the voice. "Hello?"

"You lied." That voice was so familiar, but where had he heard it before? The sound was slurred, blended with another voice. "Eren?" There was crying, gunshots, the sound of breaking wood and crackling flames, screaming and babies wailing. "Stop!" Levi covered his ears and the blood rose again, all around him there was war, death and destruction. "

Kill him!" Erwin. He looked for the face, the hair, anything familiar to pull him from this nightmare. "Erwin!" He couldn't find him, and he was too afraid to move.

"Levi kill him!" Kill him? Kill who? He kept moving, walking towards what looked like the edge of the blood oceans. "Erwin!" He called out again, he tilted his head back to keep from swallowing blood. "Eren!" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before being plunged under. Suddenly he was being pushed, pulled and tugged in all directions as the noises got louder. He felt the blood pushing his hair around, lifting his clothes and flowing between layers, the wind was knocked out of him and he swallowed blood. It filled his stomach and lungs, burning him and making him choke. The taste was the worst- rust and salt- he kept choking, struggling for air that he couldn't reach until-

He sprang up from his bed and vomited across the sheets, wet with sweat. He panted and rubbed his skin, trying to wipe the blood off of him. He was blind, the darkness had covered everything, and it wasn't until he looked towards the window that he realized it was all a bad dream. He pushed the covers away and curled his knees up to his chin, closing his eyes to rid himself of the horrible dream.

He ran a hand through his hair again and looked at the moon outside, the only source of light the room had. His eyes wandered to the flower crown and he took it, holding it to his chest and rocking gently back and forth until the sun came up. 

_He's okay. It was a dream._

_It was all a dream..._


	6. Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took forever to update, and I promise this is the shortest of chapters. Think of it as a part one for the next chapter. XD   
> \- Fay -

"Corporal Le-"

"Levi." Eren sighed and rolled his head back, groaning softly. "Levi, _sir_." He corrected. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Do I look okay?" He asked, stuffing his sheets deeper into the garbage bin. He sighed and put the lid over it, turning to face Eren reluctantly. He waited for a response. "Sir, what happened?" The broom Eren held might have snapped in his hands if Levi didn't answer him quickly. He looked almost like a taller version of himself, wearing bandanna's in the same way, sleeves rolled up and a grim expression. "I got sick." He shrugged and started walking away. "That's all." Eren jumped and started to follow behind. "Are you okay? I mean- like- you're alive and that's always a plus, but do you have a bug or something?" Levi shook his head and slipped his left hand into his pocket. "Why do you keep asking me all these questions?"

"I..." He fell silent, and stopped walking. "I owe it to you, I guess."

 _Yes. He's repaying a debt_. "Because I beat the shit out of you in court and constantly insult you, you think I deserve your respect." Eren winced, looking injured.

"That's not true. Completely..." _Leave, Levi. Don't look at him. Keep walking and don't look back_. "You _did_ kick me, and it was scary. I didn't know why you were doing what you were doing, but I felt like I deserved it."

"For what?" Levi stopped and turned to look at him. "You didn't ask to be a Titan."

"But I should know how to control it. I made a mistake and I was punished. It wasn't pleasant, but I could have killed someone. I kick in the teeth is a just punishment." Levi hadn't expected him to be so mature about the situation. "Whatever you say."

"And you don't _always_ call me bad names. You call me Eren a lot more than 'brat'." He smiled slightly. "And you insult everyone, so it doesn't bug me. I know you mean well." There was a long pause before anyone moved, and Levi was the first. He sighed and turned to leave again. "Keep working." He ordered, in reference to the half cleaned room they had left behind. "Yes sir..." There was so much he wanted to tell him, but he couldn't get it out, he couldn't get his lips and tongue to move the right way and form words he could understand. His hand tightened around the flower in his pocket, and the soft petals against his skin reminded him of the good and simplicity the world carried, swept along with all the big and complicated things. Suddenly his chest hurt. It wasn't a pain he had felt before, and he stopped to put a hand over it, just to make sure his heart was still working. "Tch." He started walking again and kept his eyes to the floor, his hand rested over his heart, heels clicking against the floor as he headed to Hanji's office.


	7. Chapter 7

"The official name for it is Muscle Dystrophy. It pretty much means that his muscles are disintegrating."

"You aren't going to sugar coat anything today, are you?" Levi sighed heavily and sat down in the chair adjacent to her own.

"I didn't know you wanted me to." She gave him a weird look, caught off guard. "I know you're no fan of death, but this is reality we're dealing with, that was me sugar coating it." She sat on her desk and crossed her legs, leaning forward on her elbows and looking at him.

"Wanna know the symptoms?"

He shrugged weakly. "Okay, well- he'll have a hard time walking, moving in general, really. His speech will all but disappear, and eventually he'll need a wheelchair. His heart and other organs will get weaker as he ages, his limbs might move inward and stay there, contracture." She stopped and waited for his reaction before continuing. "There's also the Arrhythmias. His heart beats at a weird pace, he'll get weak and be tired all the time. He'll get dizzy and have shortness of breath."

"Is that it?" Levi asked, not raising his head to look at her.

"...yeah." She frowned. "I can do therapy with him, but I'm no miracle worker, Levi."

He nodded once and stood up. "Alright then."

"You're leaving now?"

"Aren't we done here?" She could see the pain behind his eyes, and pitied him for hiding it. "I'm always here, Levi." She clarified, the statement holding two meanings. He nodded again in response and tightened his fist in his pocket. "Yeah." He left without another word and stayed in his room until dinner.

 

-

 

Hanji watched him as he ate, poking at his food and sighing every so often. Giving Eren one word answers and nods in response. "Are you okay, Corporal?"

"Mhm."

"I finished my chores early, and I finished washing your sheets."

"Huh?" Levi raised a brow at him from behind his mug.

"You work hard, so I figured I should do something for you." Hanji's heart twisted into a knot when she saw Levi's face change. She had seen that face only one other time. When she first met Levi after their first expedition. When she approached Levi and his friends, she sat by them and applauded their hard work and skill, and he looked grateful. He Iooked happy. But deep beneath all of that, there was a sadness, because he was being rewarded for murder. She could tell now that he wasn't sure if he should feel happy or distressed. "Thanks." Eren smiled and nodded once, he opened his mouth to speak again, but Mikasa called his attention away.

"I'm so sorry..."

"What?" Levi looked up at her, and she turned to Moblit. "Nothing, just thinking out loud." He looked worried, and she play punched his arm to ease him. "I miss my titans!" She sighed, and he smiled, shaking his head at her.

"You'll always have Eren, though, right?" Levi stood from the table and gathered his dishes, pushing in his chair and leaving. The whole room went silent, and Moblit cowered into his chair, wondering what he did wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

_Don't be angry with him. He didn't know, he didn't do anything wrong_. Levi chastised himself as he walked quickly from the table. His head was a mess, conflicting emotions burned his chest, demanding to be let out, but he wouldn't have it. Not today, not ever.

"Corporal Levi."

_No. No. Shit. Not you._

"What do you want, brat?" Levi stopped walking and crossed his arms. The kid obviously knew what was up.

"I'm sorry."

Or maybe not?

"You didn't do anything." Levi squinted at him. "Shouldn't you be eating?" He shrugged and started to fidget again.

"I felt bad, so I came to see if you were okay." Levi didn't speak, solely because he couldn't think of the right words.

"I'm alright." He lied.

"I know you aren't, though." He responded quickly. "You can talk to me if you want to. I mean, I'm your underling, so it might be weird, but we don't have a normal head-and-subordinate relationship anyway." He smiled weakly. He was right about that. "Can I really?" Levi asked. "You won't lose your respect for me?" Eren looked almost offended by the question. "No way, I don't have a clean past, myself, sir." True. Murder is...well, it's murder.

"We can't talk here." What the fuck are you doing, Levi. Confiding what you know in this boy will only stress him out, make him nervous and see you as a lesser human being, just like all the others. Then again, he had proven his worth to the ones who crossed him, and those who looked down on him. He didn't have to prove anything to Eren. He ceased his frown at the thought of that. Not having to prove anything to him. It felt nice to just talk without worrying what people would say. "Lead the way, Boss." Eren smiled. He sighed, pained at the parallels he saw far too often between his old friends and his titan brat.

His titan brat.

He turned and walked back towards his office, feeling more and more nervous as he got closer to it.

 

 

-

 

 

"So, you you really hadn't seen-" "Yes, Eren. For the third time." Levi groaned and rubbed his temples. "I hadn't seen a fish." Eren tried not to laugh and hid his mouth with his hands. "Must've been a scary first experience, then."

"Damn straight. And it was alive when I caught it." Levi tipped his head back and turned in his chair, it squeaked lightly, but he was used to it. "Gross."

"Did you have a house down there? Did you live with your family?" Levi sat up and sighed. "Of sorts, and....yeah. I suppose I'd call them family."

"Are you talking about Isabella and...um..." He frowned, trying to remember the names.

"Isabel and Farlan. Yes. How did you know their names?"

"Hanji told me about them once. She said I reminded her of them."

"You do." Levi sighed, wanting to talk about something else.

"What were you like as a kid?" Eren asked. Levi could tell he s lost in thought. "I bet you were a cute kid." He smiled and sat back in his chair, calmed down from the exciting topic of family. "Were you a neat freak back then, too?" Levi's eye twitched, and he wished he hadn't agreed to speak with Eren. "I don't remember."

"When did you first leave the walls? How did you get to the surface?"

"First expedition. Erwin dragged me up." Something sparked in his eyes, something bright and dangerous that spread and struck him like lightning. Curiosity. He didn't ask anymore about his past, thank god, but. He did ask a few random questions. "If you were dating yourself, how do you think your relationship would be?"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Eren." He wasn't even surprised anymore.

"I just wanna know! I think I'd feel awkward, and probably annoyed because I lose my temper a lot." Levi furrowed his brows, "I dunno. Clean?" Eren laughed for a while, obviously trying not to, though failing miserably. "Okay- okay- what do you do for fun?"

"...clean."

"Anything else?"

"I used to ride horses. Point out star constellations or make those stupid crown things with her until it was time to love for another-" he stopped mid sentence and cleared his throat. "Yeah. That stuff."

"Is it still fun?"

"I haven't done any of that stuff in forever, Eren. But riding horses is a definite no." He looked off to the side. "Expeditions ruined that for me."

"Do you sleep well?"

"Would you? Either way I feel fine. I don't need sleep."

"Any weird desires?"

"Whoa, okay. I am at my limit now. I've told you away too much about me and I'm not gonna go there with a child." "I'm not a child!" He defended. Levi stood, but Eren sat, clearly not budging. "I'm not discussing this with you." "Cor-" "No. I said no and that's final." Eren pouted, and it looked cute on him. God, he wanted to touch him. Maybe he could get away with slapping him. But that's not the type of contact he wanted, he wanted something softer. Fuck. No. No no no. Stop it. "Tch." He mocked Levi's noise, and it only made him feel weirder. "I guess I can use what I already know." Levi gave him a sideways glare. "Yep. I've been evaluating you this whole time." Eren crossed his arms, feeling proud of himself. "You are completely, without a doubt, hella depressed." Levi's eye twitched. "You went through all that...to figure out something anyone could have told you?" Okay maybe he could have planned better. Levi felt hurt- he thought Eren was asking because he cared, not for some shitty psychological exam. Apparently the pain was mutual, because Eren slumped in his chair, avoiding his eyes. "I was worried." "It's not your place to be worried." "Why not?" "Because you're a child." Levi put his hand back into his pocket and turned his back to him, pretending to straighten a few things on the mantle of the small fireplace. "I am not a child!" Eren barked. He stood defiantly, his stance wide and arms at his sides. He towered over Levi and glared down his nose at him. "Don't treat me like an inferior." "Why the hell not?" Levi snapped. "You're sixteen. You're just an orphaned brat with a death wish!" He froze, realizing where those words had been said before. He opened his mouth to speak but Eren stepped back. His lips in a firm line, eyes wet and hands balled into fists at his sides. He didn't say another word, but left as quickly as he had come. Now what? He should apologize, obviously. But if he just walked up to the kid he'd never listen. He took his hand out of his pocket and looked at his palm. He carried one of these things with him every day, as a sort of security blanket. Not that he'd tell anyone. Maybe he needed to, at some point- but not now. Not yet. He finished what work he had left to do, giving Eren some room to breathe.


	9. Chapter 9

"The way I see it, you have two options. One: burst in there and hug the shit out of him, or two: stay here and be a baby about it."

He hated it when Erwin was right. Especially with things like this. Hanji nodded in agreement. "He only asked because he cared, you know."

"Yeah."

"What did you even say to him? I've never seen a guy cry like that inside the walls." Hanji shivered. "It was heartbreaking." Something in Levi snapped to hear that. He didn't just tear up, he cried. "I'm going to talk to him." Levi stood and sighed, he took the crumpled flower from his pocket and looked at it sadly. "I just don't know what to say." Hanji's eyes widened at the daisy, remembering where it came from. "You still have that?" She asked.

"Of course." Levi frowned, what a ridiculous question.

"So you care about him, too."

"Tch." Levi put his hand back into his pocket and walked around them. "Thanks for the advice." He turned and looked at the over his shoulder. "Just stop me before I get in too deep." Neither of them replied, but watched him leave. He stopped by his room on the way and picked another daisy off the crown, slipping it into his pocket and leaving the crumpled one behind. He had no idea where to look for the kid, but he had an idea of where he might be hiding.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

 

He wasn't downstairs, or in the kitchen. Armin and Mikasa hadn't seen him all day, and Jean said he didn't care where the guy went, he didn't keep an eye out for him anyway. Levi resisted the urge to kick him and moved forward. Only a light sneeze alerted him of the boy's presence in the tree above him. The noise made the smaller male jump and out a hand on his heart, relieved to see it was only Eren sitting in the branch above his head. "Fucking hell, Brat!" He looked down at the man and his frown deepened. He didn't say anything. "Sorry for calling you a brat. Can I talk to you?" Eren swung his feet down and leaned on his knees, watching him. "Down here, please? I have to look up at you enough on a daily basis, don't you think?" Eren cracked a tiny smile. "If you really wanna stay in the tree you'll have to be patient enough to let me haul my old ass up there. Not the best place for a meeting, but-" Eren laughed, it was a small sound, but it was like a bandage for Levi's heart, and he blinked up at him, wondering how the sound could have been created by someone like him. "Fine then." Levi got to the trunk of tree and climbed up, careful not to fall on his ass. "Should have grabbed my gear." He sighed, pushing his hair out of his face, he straddled the branch and gave Eren his attention. "So, the talk." Eren frowned again, still virtually silent. "You're not in trouble. If anything, I am." He crossed his arms. "Sorry for being an asshole to you." He avoided his eyes. "And saying what I did. That was a really low blow, but it wasn't my words." Eren squinted, and curiosity brightened his eyes again. "What?"

Levi looked at him. "What, what? It wasn't my words, I don't know what's so complicated-"

"Who told you that you were an orphan with a death wish?" He cringed and looked at the ground.

"You know, people. It's not important."

"Yeah it is. You are the way you are now because someone made you that way." He scooted closer, and Levi backed up, grateful for the ridiculous ass skirt they wore as part of their uniform. "Who made you like that?" He asked. Levi wasn't sure how to answer. Himself? The world? Erwin? Eren leaned back and kicked his feet, nudging the bottom of Levi's a few times. "You don't have to tell me now, you've opened up to me a lot today. And you climbed a tree for me, honestly I didn't expect that."

Levi pouted slightly. "I was a kid once, you know, I know how to climb a tree."

"They had trees in the Underground District?"

"No."

"Then how do-"

"I ran away a few times." Realization hit Eren like a bullet to the chest. Trees were his hiding places? "Why'd you run away?" Levi glared at him, but Eren held his ground. "I didn't have nice parents." He said simply. "And I was always in trouble." Eren sunk back a bit and leaned on his hands. "You? A troublemaker?" He smiled and kicked at Levi's boots. "Stealing brooms?" "And mops." Levi added, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You should have seen the MP's coming after me. Gotta clean up the blood somehow, right?" This caught Eren off guard and he froze, eyes wide and face pale. Levi laughed so hard he almost fell off of his branch, and Eren had to hold onto his forearms to keep him balanced. "You-you're kidding right?"

"No shit, Jaeger." He smiled slightly. "Not a fan on unnecessary death, remember?" Eren nodded once and let his hands move to his wrists, and eventually his hands. Levi didn't notice the contact until Eren noticed the flower. "What's that?"

"Nothing." Levi pulled away.

"No- lemmie see!" He was too strong for him, and had the advantage of balance. "Is...is this from the crown I made you?" Levi's eye twitched, and he wished he could disappear. "No." Eren's smile was magnificent, and his eyes moistened again. "You kept it."

"You sound surprised."

"I am, I mean, flowers and pollen- germs and such."

Levi rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I kept it." He confessed. "It just makes me happier I guess. You're one of the only people who isn't totally afraid of me."

"Even after a kick in the teeth." Eren laughed. "If that's not love, I don't know what is." Levi gave a fake laugh and looked down again. "If you didn't do that, I would have died before I got the chance to know you." He shrugged. "So, thanks. I guess."

"You're weird, Eren."

"That makes two of us." He smiled. "Can I hold your hands more often?" Levi raised a brow and looked down, seeing his hands enveloped in Eren's made him feel strange, but not strange enough to let go. "Levi?"

"What." "Are you okay? I've never seen you make that face before." He looked up at Eren, confused by his words.

"No. I...I don't think that's a good idea."

The light in Eren's eyes flickered and he frowned,"Just for today then?" Levi swallowed and nodded once. "Okay."

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

"Lev-Levi!" Hanji jumped out of the way, dodging the vase Levi had thrown across the room. It shattered against the wall and clattered to the floor. "I'm sorry-" he wiped furiously at his eyes. "I didn't know..." He groaned and grabbed the broom from its usual place in the corner. "Sorry." Hanji didn't bother asking his meeting with Eren went. "How do you feel?" She sighed, watching him sweep with a miserable expression. "Confused."

"What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Levi, you can talk to me, you know that." He didn't respond. "You like him now, is that it?" He stopped sweeping for a second before continuing and Hanji knew she'd hit him. "Levi-"

"It's gross, I get it. Don't rub it in."

"It's not gross."

"We're both boys, and he's a child. How is that not gross?" Hanji shrugged, "the age gap is wide, but really, how many people here care about that?"

He glared. "Enough." She rolled her eyes at him and brought him the dustpan. "I think the present doesn't bug you nearly as much as the future does." He didn't reply. Always hard to understand.

"I hope there will be a day when you learn to love things before they're gone, rather than avoiding them to spare yourself." Hanji held the dustpan out to him, which he took too roughly, and gathered her things. "I thought for sure you'd learned from last time."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> W O W .   
> How does one even write kissing scenes? >.>  
> Anyway, have some mild fanservice and cliffhanger while I write bad action scenes for next chapter! I can't believe I've written ten so far, I need to start making these longer...   
> \- Fay -

Today was the day.

Today was the day Levi had completely, exhaustively, and perfectly understood that he had emotional feelings for Eren Jaeger. Just admitting it to himself made him feel squeamish, but it didn't irritate him nearly as much as it did yesterday. There were several events that lead him to his self realization, the first being that he had accepted his stupid daisy crown. If any other had given the thing to him, he would have tossed it with a half assed "thank you", if not his usual "tch." But he kept Eren's. The second was his nightmare. He was drowning in blood, literally, and heard Erwin's voice. Why was he worried about Eren? The order he was given to 'kill him' could have been directed at anyone, so why did he wake up in a cold sweat thinking of Eren? Why does he find solace in this tiny and insignificant daisies? Why does he continue to go back to him for amenity? Why didn't he smack his hands away instead of holding onto them? Because he loves this boy.

Hanji was right. Erwin was right. He'd never admit it, but he valued the kid more than himself, for a variety of reasons. But he was still that, a kid. He was naive and defensive, he was a self sacrificing idiot hell bent on saving those who threw stones at him. Levi should be holding onto him for dear life, because at some point- he won't be able to. He should have learned his lesson with Isabel and Farlan, but it didn't settle till now. He had lost Petra, a sister to him, and the rest of his squad, the only family he had since he left the Underground. He wasn't going to lose Eren. "Jaeger." He turned his back to the boy as soon as he said his name, regretting coming here, "never mind."

"Is something wrong, Levi?" He was with Hanji, an audible sigh and foot tap later, he was facing Eren again.

"I didn't know you were on a first name basis." Hanji smiled, "that's cute." Eren smiled slightly, looking at his arm as Hanji continued to wrap the elastic around his elbow. "What are we doing again?"

"I'm drawing blood." Hanji answered cheerfully. "It shouldn't hurt much." Levi froze and looked back at them, taking a cautious step forward. "Shouldn't, as in, it could, right?" Hanji nodded slowly. "You're welcome to stay and supervise, Corporal." She grinned. "If you aren't busy." Eren's eyes were pleading, but he didn't say anything. "Sure." He crossed his arms and stood closer to Eren. "Alright, Eren, you know the drill." Hanji sighed. Eren turned towards Levi and closed his eyes tightly. "A b c d e f g-" he sang quietly. Levi raised a brow at him, watching as Hanji flicked the needle a few times. The tip poked Eren's vein and he jumped, his voice cracking on 'M'. Was Eren afraid of needles? "Distract him will you?" Hanji mouthed. He could do one of three things. Knock him out, shout at him, or... He sighed softly and leaned forward on the balls of his feet. He leaned on the arms of Eren's chair for balance and pressed his lips against Eren's. He felt the feather light flick of Eren's eyelashes as his eyes snapped open, but neither of them moved. Hanji pushed the needle into his arm and Levi pushed their mouths closer together. Eren relaxed and his eyes slid shut again, tilting his head for better access. Levi was happy to cooperate, and parted his lips. Eren followed suit. He refused to delve into a full blown snogging session with Hanji in the room, so he pulled away, seeing she had removed the needle and put a cotton pad over his new wound. Eren looked at him dizzily, and Levi fought a smirk at the effect his touch left on him. "Didn't hurt, did it?" Hanji put the vial of blood into a box and started grabbing more things neither of them gave two shits about. "No." Eren sighed and stood from his chair, adjusting the elastic on his arm. "Thank you."

"No Eren, thank you." Hanji giggled. "I might have to draw more tomorrow, if you'd be so kind as to stop by after Levi 's done with you." Her sentence seemed to have dual meaning, and the boys turned red at the thought of it. They said their goodbyes and left, an awkward silence crushing the air out of them until Eren cracked and asked the question they had been asking themselves for what seemed like an hour. "Why did you kiss me?"

"Should I not have?"

"No. I mean, you should have- I mean, you didn't have to, you do what you want, you're a grown up. I'm not telling you what to do." Levi raised a brow at him, "what?"

"I mean, I'm glad you did. But I don't know why."

"I kissed you because I wanted to. There's nothing complex or spectacular about it. You were there, and I thought, 'either I kiss him or knock him out'. Kissing you seemed like a better option." Eren paled. "You actually considered knocking me out?" "That isn't the point, brat." Levi rolled his eyes. "I didn't, did I?" Eren made an awkwardly serious face and looked at the ground. "Do you like me now?" Levi sighed. "I'm beginning to think so. I'll apologize in advance." Eren laughed lightly, though his face was still too grown up for the light in his eyes. "Well, I meant to ask, yesterday you said it wasn't a good idea, was it for me to like you, or for us to hold hands?"

"Both." Levi crossed his arms. "I'm not exactly lover material."

"Everyone is lover material. You're just weirder than the norm. And smaller." Levi kicked him, and Eren laughed. "Ouch! I was kidding!" Levi turned his head away from him, and Eren whined. "Don't be that way, you know I love you regardless." This was the first time Eren had legit said that he loved Levi, and it shook him. His eyes widened and he stared up at him. "Shut up." Eren smiled and pulled his superior into an awkward cheek-to-chest hug, Levi groaned loudly and struggled against his arms at first, but after his pointless tantrum, he succumbed to the hug and let Eren squeeze him. "You better be clean."

"I'm always clean." Eren sighed. His voice shook in his ribs and Levi could feel it on the side of his head. He could also feel Eren breathing cool air onto his head. "You smell like strawberries." Levi blurted. "Why do you smell like strawberries? Do we even have strawberries here?" Eren shrugged and loosened his grip on Levi, his folded hands falling a little farther down his back, though Levi didn't pull away. "I didn't know that." He could feel Eren lean his cheek against the top of his head and sigh. Levi would have taken this time to close his eyes, but instead his paranoia took over, and he glared around them for any spying soldiers. One in particular. "Eren! Where are you?" Eren lifted his head and looked in the direction of the voice. "Armin?" Levi pushed himself away and went towards the barracks. "Get geared up, Jaeger."

"Huh? Why?" Armin caught sight of him and ran in his direction. "There's a village outside, someone's signaling us."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good heavens this is a fast paced chapter DX   
> Sorry about that.

The next hour flew by as Eren struggled into his leather straps, hopping behind his superior as he walked ahead, fastening the belts around his chest. "Levi! How did you know before Armin told me?"

"I saw the smoke." He replied. "It's easier if you unfasten them first." He sighed and looked back at Eren, helpless as ever. "Sorry."

"Calm down, will you? We're not going to war, we're just seeing where the smoke is coming from. You shouldn't even be going with us." Betrayal flashed across Eren's face, and Levi held up his hands. "Whoa, whoa, alright. You're going." He seemed to calm down and nodded, standing straight and lifting his foot behind him to zip up the back of his boot. "So we don't know what it is for sure?"

"Not yet." Levi clarified. "So don't do something stupid and die."

"No promises." Eren smiled like it was some sort of sick joke between the two, and he supposed it was. No life was guaranteed. "I'll defend you if it comes down to that." Levi promised. "I mean it."

"I don't doubt you, Corporal." He wondered why they were switching back to titles, but the sound of Erwin's voice seemed to answer the question for him. "Mount up, Levi." He ordered. "Yeah, yeah. I know." Levi waved him off and started walking towards his horse. "C'mon, Jaeger." Eren followed close behind, feeling Erwin's eyes on him. He tried to keep a straight face and looked straight ahead as they walked. Levi took one look at him and stopped, looking genuinely worried. "You wanna go to the bathroom before we leave?" Levi raised a brow at him.

"Does Erwin hate me?" 

Levi blinked, a bit shocked by the question. "I don't think he hates anyone, really. He was probably wondering why you looked so constipated." Eren relaxed slightly and nodded once. They got on their horses, and Eren lingered behind Levi for a bit, wondering if he could even get up on his own. "What are you doing?" Levi swung a leg over the saddle and squinted down at him. "I didn't know if you could..." Eren closed his mouth and went to his horse, climbing on quickly and petting it's neck. Levi glared, already knowing what he was going to say. He gave a curt "tch." And lead them from the stables. "You seem nervous." Levi pointed. Eren shrugged slightly. "Confused about some things, that's all." Levi sighed softly, afraid this would happen. "Out there, we're nothing but soldiers, got it? Don't let your emotions blind you. More than usual, anyway." Eren nodded, his hands tightening around the reins. "Yes sir."

"But if you die out there, you'll never get a real kiss out of me, right?" Eren's heart jumped, and he nodded again. "Yeah." He smiled and got into formation with the others as they filed out and headed towards the walls. "I'll be sure to make it back, then." Levi didn't respond, but headed to his position between Hanji and Erwin. They quizzed him about his relaxed facade, to which Levi only shrugged. "It's been a good day." He explained. Eren smiled to himself after hearing it, and ignored Jean's stares as Mikasa moved to him. "Where are you guys going to be?" She asked. Eren shrugged, still in a daze, and moved forward. "We'll stay in Levi's position."

"Levi?" Mikasa's eyes widened at the way Eren said his name so nonchalantly. She squinted at him, but Eren brushed it off. "C'mon, we have to find out where the smoke is coming from."

 

 

-

 

 

"How do we even know it was a signal, instead of a fire?"

"We don't. Either way, fires don't start on their own." Levi listened to his comrades argue over the relevance of this expedition. "Where is it coming from?"

Erwin tilted his head back to see it. "Not much farther."

"It'll be night soon, won't it?" Levi questioned. "We won't be able to see it clearly."

"That's why we have to hurry." Erwin nodded, looking back at him. "The sooner the better."

"Do you think there could be a village here?" Levi focused on the voices behind him, Eren and Armin were curious as ever. "There are enough trees here to build with, and moss on the trees. The air is wet, there must be a lake or something nearby." Levi made a personal note to have Armin write a survival guide at some point in his life. "What's that?" Eren asked, Armin gasped and Levi turned his head to see what they were ogling at. "Up in the trees." Levi looked up and squinted at the fading light. Rope? "Can I check it out?" Eren looked at Levi, his eyes wide and bright.

"I'll go with you. We don't know who or what is up there." He readied his blades and shot his hooks into a tree, using the horse's speed to push himself around the crowd and higher up. Eren followed suit. There were bridges built, and a few shaky looking houses built around the branches. "Amazing." Eren sighed. "Who built this?" Levi glared into the leaves and put his blades away. "Shh!" Levi crouched quickly under the cover of darkness and branches. "What's wro-" Levi smacked a hand over Eren's mouth and pulled him down, their capes camouflaging them. "Titan." Levi whispered. He pointed ahead and Eren tensed. "It's too dark to go after it efficiently." Eren mumbled something, and Levi moved his hand. "Aren't they supposed to be inactive at night?" Eren frowned, looking nothing short of terrified. Levi nodded once and stood slowly, pulling Eren closer to him as the titan got closer. His blade, ready to hit it's eyes if it came at them, shook ever so slightly as the cool air sunk into Levi's clothes. This titan is abnormal, very abnormal. And if it's active at night, could there be others? What if Eren- Realization hit him like a bullet to the chest, and he looked at Eren unconsciously, eyes wide with fear. Eren's condition. He had completely forgotten about it. "Hold still." He stuck his blade into the bark of their branch and pushed Eren down, tugging his jacket and shirt out of his way. "L-Levi!" He jumped, his voice too loud. "Shut up." Levi ordered, putting a hand over his mouth. "Let me see." The once red patch on his neck was spreading, and wrapped around his shoulder, moving down his arm. "Do you know about this?"

Eren winced and looked away. "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me it was worse?"

"I was going to, but then you said those things-" If his bitchy attitude hadn't scared Eren off, he would have known sooner. "And then you liked me, and you said it wasn't a good idea- I realized why and it made me feel like telling you would confirm it and you wouldn't like me anymore and-"

"Eren, shut up." He blinked and let Levi pull him to his knees. "Just...shut up."

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"Okay...Sorry." Levi sighed and rubbed his head, picking up his blade again. "I don't like you any less than I did yesterday, or the day before that. But you can't return your feelings for me if you're dead, right? I told you not to do anything stupid." Eren nodded once and moved away, climbing farther up the tree. Levi opened his mouth to call for him, but froze when the titan stopped walking and turned it's head towards him. He stood slowly, blades ready, and glared into its eyes, reflecting his silhouette and the moon behind him. If it made one move he'd kill it. "Psst! Levi!" Levi's eyes flickered to the idiot sitting on top of the titan. "Levi~! C'mon! It's safe, he agreed not to eat you if we didn't kill him." He kept his eyes on the titan's face, regardless of what Eren had told him, just in case, and made his way to the top of its head. "What's going on?" Fireflies started to dance around them as night darkened and another person climbed up the back of its skull, using it's hair as a rope of sorts to hoist himself upwards. "Well, this is weird." The person, a boy not much older than Eren, crossed his arms and rocked back and forth on his feet. "I'm not the best with introductions."

"Obviously." Levi glared. "Who are you?"

"My name is Eden Church. I live out here with my family."

"Are you the ones who signaled us?" Eren asked.

"No." Eden shook his head. "We were looking for the source of the smoke, but it got dark, and dangerous on foot, so I transformed."

"How is this thing still standing?" Levi kicked his foot at the hair of it, crossing his arms. "Shouldn't it evaporate?"

"I hardened it when I recognized your friend here." He motioned to Eren. "I know he's no threat as long as I don't hurt anyone." Eren nodded once defiantly and Levi sheathed his swords. "How do you know Eren?"

"We have connections in the walls. An underground trail that leads to the old districts. Have you forgotten about them already, Levi?" There was a long silence, and Levi reached back into the very corner of his memories to figure out how the hell this guy knew him. Maybe he had heard things, seen him coming back from expeditions. He must have heard the stories about his life in the underground, he couldn't know about that day. Or did he? Levi looked up at a higher tier of trees. "There are others?" "Yes."

"Are they like you?"

"Not all of them." He found it surprisingly easy to get information out of this guy. "How did you get this way?"

"Medicine. I'm not allowed to say more." Eren's eyes widened, and he opened his mouth to speak. "Who gave it-"

"Rivaille!" Levi half turned to look down at Hanji.

"Listen up, kid. We don't have much time. Either come with us or get out fast. Either way this isn't the last time you'll see us." Eden nodded once and walked back towards where he had come from. "We'll see each other again, Ackerman." Eren froze up, but jumped when the titan's head began to move. The two got down and swung to Hanji's level. "Who else saw us?" Levi asked. "It's just me here." Her eyes were glued to the titan, who turned and waved with what may have been a smile. Levi had to restrain her as she ran at the creature, demanding its capture. She swore to silence and left ahead of them, leaving the two soldiers alone again.

 

 

-

 

 

"We still don't know who was signaling us."

"I know." The conversation didn't stretch past that, and Eren went through a phase of opening his mouth to speak and closing it again. "What's eating you, Jaeger?" Levi finally asked.

"Why did he know Mikasa?"

Levi raised a brow. "He didn't."

"But he said-"

"Ackerman isn't just her surname."

"What does It mean then?" Levi frowned, because deep down, he wanted anyone but Eren to know all of the horrible things he had done at his age. "I don't know anymore."


End file.
